baronygamefandomcom-20200223-history
The Campaign
The Campaign Characters: Captain Peterson: Leader of the company. Sir Roderick: The Campaign's sponsor. Lieutenant Sedgwick: The company planner. Harry: Weapons expert. Very fat. Inky: A gross and indecent sneak-thief. Act I, Scene I: five heroes sit around a large wooden table forming a half-circle that faces the audience. Inky sits on the far left; Sir Roderick sits to his left; Peterson sits in the center; Sedgwick sits on his left; and Harry sits on the far right. Peterson: Good evening, gentlemen. I assume you are all aware of why we are here tonight. Harry: The brochure promised food. Peterson: That comes later. For the time being we must focus on the task at hand. Sir Roderick's mother, our dear lady Lyndon, was captured a week ago by a most fearful dragon. As the newly formed Company of Returning Missing and Endangered Persons, it is therefore our job to rescue her. Harry: What's in it for us? Peterson: Sir Roderick is a lord. He will be financing the entire operation, and will be paying us at the conclusion of a successful mission. Harry: Every time I've been involved in a job, I was paid and fed up front. Roderick: You'll not see a penny from me until the job is finished. burps loudly. Roderick: You fat oaf! What is that supposed to mean? Harry: I assure my lord that I emitted not but a meaningless belch. Peterson: Quiet, both of you! We would hear Lieutenant Sedgwick's report on the company's supplies. Give your report, Lieutenant. Sedgwick: I wasn't able to find any of our rope, sir. Peterson: What, not even a foot?! Sedgwick: No sir, no feet either. But that wasn't on the list... Harry: It's just as well. You won't see me using my feet for anything until I've had a proper meal. Roderick: Even if we had any rope, I doubt you'd be able to climb it. Peterson: Be silent, everyone! Sedgwick, you're certain we're all out of rope? starts fidgeting next to Sir Roderick Sedgwick: I can't excuse it sir, but yes, the rope is completely gone. Perhaps the rats got to it. Peterson: Well how do you expect us to ascend the beast's lair without any rope? stops fidgeting Roderick: What--my purse is missing! Harry: Well, that figures. You weren't planning to even pay us at all. Roderick: Selfish buffoon! You've just insulted my dignity. buries his face in his hands out of frustration Peterson: We have no plan, let alone the team needed to execute it. Harry: Why should we care anyway, Lady Lyndon is far too old to ask for rescue from anything at this point. Roderick stands up and draws his sword Roderick: You brute! This is the last straw. I'll have your head for those words! Sedgwick: Sir Roderick, please... slowly gets up from his seat Harry: Pay it no mind Sedgwick, we'll only be a moment. and Roderick both leave. A fight ensues offstage between the two. In the meantime, the dialogue continues. Inky: So how old is Lady Lyndon exactly? Peterson: What does it even matter? Inky: I'm just saying, I expected her still being a little pretty, eh? a scream is heard offstage and the sounds of fighting cease. Harry returns with Sir Roderick's head in his left hand. Peterson: What--you've cut his head off! Harry: I am a weapons expert, what did you expect? Peterson: Well if you cared about your money, you would know we certainly won't be paid to rescue anyone now! Sedgwick: It'll be alright, Captain. Even if we're not paid, we could still put the mission on our curricula vitae. Inky: Our curricula what now? Peterson: No, no, no! Just forget it! The mission is cancelled. Inky: Cancelled? Sedgwick: Cancelled! Harry: Cancelled. Peterson: Right, it's cancelled! And as of right now, I'm disbanding the company as well, because you're all worthless! storms offstage Sedgwick: Captain, wait! Please come back! follows Peterson off stage. Harry sighs slowly. There is a pause. Inky begins counting the money in the purse he stole from Sir Roderick Harry: Well, I think I'm going to get something to eat. Are you coming? Inky: Yeah, sure. I'll just be a bit. Harry: Alright. gets up from his seat and lumbers offstage. As Harry exits the stage, Inky gets up and tosses the purse to himself. Finally he follows Harry offstage End Category:Books